She called me from across continents.
I felt my heart vibrating, Love outpouring, touched by a divine presence, deeply moved, tears upwelling.
And I knew it was Her:
The small town of Fairfax, California.
It’s dark outside. The redwoods stand tall, reaching out to the stars.
Inside, a yellow dimmed light creates a warm atmosphere, like the fire used to hold spaces for story telling.
Comfortable brown couch and tulsi tea.
My dear friend Matthew is telling me the wondrous stories of his travels in the mountains near Budapest.
Very briefly, almost as a side note, he mentions seeing a shrine to Mother Mary.
Suddenly, warm loving energies start swirling throughout my body.
I feel a gentle squeeze in my heart. Wonder, warmth, and a divine presence moves me to tears: Mother Mary !
I burst into tears.
"Matthew ! Mother Mary is calling me there!"
I will answer Her Call.
I will find Her; I don't know when, how, or where.
Many times, in many ways, Spirit and heart guidance have led each of us. He understands and lives a spirit-led life, too.
Budapest. A year later. May 16, 2016
On our way to the shrine of Mother Mary, which is in the mountains, Matthew heard (inwardly?) the name of a village: Pillisszanto.
As we drive through a vibrant, dark green forest, birds are singing to one another—so many birds, so beautiful! Pure joy!
Again, my heart expands, vibrates, and again, tears streaming down my chicks, I clearly hear:
"It is a day of transmission."
Inside me, oh, so many sensations:
warmth, buzz, gentle squeeze, laughter, tears, and conflicted thoughts arising: is it Her Voice ?
Am I making it up? No, I’m not. Yes. No. Yes: my heart, my overwhelmed heart, my heart knows: it is She.
Meanwhile, my lap wet with tears,Matthew keeps driving to the town whose name he had heard in a message from Spirit.
He stops on the plaza, looks around, and declares:
"There is nothing here."
"Wait,” I ask him, “where is the Mother Mary shrine you wanted to show me?”
"Over there." He points out toward the mountains, across the valley, in the direction opposite from us.
He turns the car around, and now we’re facing the mountain we were driving through, minutes ago.
And now, an invisible hand grabs me by the belly!
Not my T shirt. Not my skin. My entire body. An incredible energetic hand is pulling me toward the mountain.
I am puzzled and conflicted.
Matthew is a clear channel - and has been successfully finding sacred places around the planet, by following his guidance, for two decades.
I have had fewer such experiences.
Shall I keep following Matthew's guidance? He knows where the Mary Shrine is, after all.
Shaking my head, my thoughts (<—- what does that mean?) (tell me? I need to know.
As I am about to give my power away by dismissing my inner knowing, I realize I came here all the way from California to be here for just this purpose. What if I don't trust my guidance? I may miss The Call.
'Matthew, do you mind going up there?” I ask, pointing to the mountain that is calling me.
“Sure,” Matthew says, smiling.
A dirt road takes us to a plateau facing rocky cliffs.
There, there is a masterfully sculpted wooden gate, a portal, in front of a vast opening in the earth below.
Further up, in the distance, a white stone silhouette stands against the cliff.
It’s too far to see the details. I’m so excited and curious, and... and I first think it's Mary.
I gather some dried fruits and chocolate (I had in the car) as an offering to the Spirit of this land. I ask permission to respectfully walk along the steep, crumbling, stone goat trail rising to our left.
We start climbing. feet and hands searching for the next safe place to hold onto.
I thank the bushes and the small trees for holding me on this journey to the mountaintop, with my four limbs. There is no signs of the trail now. I am guided by this exhilarating desire to know -
to meet - Her?
Out of breath, we finally arrive at the top.
Wonder ! Marvel ! Miracle !
A dome-shaped stone chapel stands before us. She (she? Who she?) is guarded by two tall stone towers, each housing a bronze bell.
On the front, it reads:
The Chapel of the Our Lady.
I am shocked; I’m in awe: How is this even possible?
The air is crisp, the sky light blue. It is a bright, sunny day.
In the stillness of the mountains, all I hear are the birds' songs and my heart beating!
Matthew, as excited as I am, is already pushing open a squeaking iron gate that is adorned with white, green, and red ribbons.
Inside, oh my heart! - Inside stands an eight foot tall stone statue.
She is receiving a golden crown held by two angels.
She exudes motherly grace, hope, consolation, encouragement, and calm.
I, however, am not calm.
I am on my knees, shaking, weeping, and talking to the Mother.
I pray for the healing of the planet and the many Names I carry in my heart.
I cry and pray so loudly that it takes me a while to realize that She is talking.
She is not Mary.
She is The Cosmic Mother.
Mother Mary and my love for Her brought me inside this, Her womb - chapel to experience the Source of Creation.
The Cosmic Mother.
Her voice is now clear. She talks a long time about how I followed the call, took the leap of faith and went on the journey to the Source.
I came to the Source.
She blesses me for my healing work, which touches many lives.
And She would like me to paint Her with pink and golden stars.
I bow: “Mother, Thank you, anything you like, I will do!"
I do not have words to describe the depth of this experience.
My mind is empty.
Humbled, crushed by Beauty, reborn into Love.
Something has transformed inside me.
I am grateful.
On the way out, we find the trail pilgrims take to honor The Blessed Virgin in this chapel, built in 2007.
At the trailhead is a bulletin board with two pictures.
One is a picture of Mary. It is the exact same picture I have had up in my Californian room for at least fifteen years!
Skipping down the trail like a child, my heart is singing. I am happy, in deep amazement.
Two days later, in France, on my way back to California, as I pray to The Mother, I received the vision: the Cosmic Mother painting, along with the movements of energy I am to paint.
The Cosmic Mother painting was complete 0n December 12 of that year, 2016.
And yes, The Cosmic Mother wears pink drapes and includes strings of DNA.
She blows on a Seed of Life, which creates gold stars, galaxies, planets, and our beautiful Earth Mother.
She is painted with earth pigments, gold leaf, lapis lazuli, amethyst, and pink quartz powder - for their healing properties.
At the top of the painting, in Aramaic letters, it is written:
As I speak, I create.
At the bottom:
I use love words to renew all my relationships, including to myself.
The Cosmic Mother painting is featured at the Fairfax Community Church, in Fairfax, CA, where many come to pray or to dance with Her.
I am in deep gratitude for being entrusted to make manifest such a holy vision in paint.
Healer and guide.